Check yoself, foo!

I gotta keep it real with this post. I honestly don’t know where to start but I have a few{ or a lot) of things to say.

Aight, so boom. Check yoself, foo is the title, right?  Wanna know what I’m talkin’ bout? Here it goes. Sometimes we stand in the way of our own progress. We essentially stand in our own way. We are the hinderers of our own growth.(Now, to be clear, I’m not equating this to monetary, or career wise; being a brown blog and all, goes without saying, but ijs) People don’t realize the power of words and thought influence, towards THEMSELVES. You can’t complain about stuff and not take steps to improve your situation.  You have to want change for it to happen. This can go for your career; can’t complain about your job and not spruce up your resume’ and get back out there, or quit, collect unemployment and start your own business or something. Anything can work if you make it! Your job won’t get any better. Matter fact, you might just manifest trouble and make things worse for yourself. Unhappiness and wallowing doesn’t carry great energy. This can also be applied to relationships.Why complain about a relationship and stay in it? It takes two and communication and understanding that while you’re “one”, you’re still an individual in a relationship with another individual. Make ya’ll individualism work together. If someone cheats, leaves, or abusive then leave them there.

Do not complain about the fire you started, or just decide to continue to burn in. When a spouse is abusive, or abandons the home, I’ve been asked “Why?!” Why did they do this, what did I do, how could they leave, how can they move on, how could they hurt me, how do I go on, how do I get closure, on and on, etc, etc.

Well there’s only a few ways to answer these questions, and they’re not all pretty; least not the way I put it. For starters, start asking yourself questions. Why do you care so much? What will change if they come back? Why do you want the person that didn’t care of your feelings in the first place, to come back in the first place? Why give that person rent free space in your head for you to worry about them and their moves while they’re sleep? Slap yourself awake!

Stop wallowing in what you consider your failure. More than likely, majority of the fault lies with them. Why? Because communication is all that’s needed to fix or wash your hand of a situation; for either parties. For an abusive relationship, they’re wrong for even wanting to deal with you in the first place; they’re not right in the head to be “loving” someone. It’s ok that you didn’t see the signs. As long as you get out and stay away. Forgive yourself. Give yourself the right to heal and move on. And don’t even worry about closure. Because what I learned is that you will more than likely leave more confused or still unfulfilled. They can still lie. And I say still because all of this wouldn’t be happening in the first place had there been transparency.

The point is don’t ask the why questions with expectancy of a real honest answer from the party in the situation. Ask YOURSELF and answer them YOURSELF. Be transparent with yourself. That’s how we get in half these situationships in the first place. Gotsta keep it real with yourself. At all times.

Growth is painful. But guess what. Just like a paper cut, burn, bump , or whatever; it hurts at first, but after applying pressure, ointment, KEEPING YOURSELF BUSY WITH LIFE, you forget about whatever it is that ails you for a little while, here and there, and before you know it, its healed up! Do what u have to do to be your best you. Shed your old skin. Die daily. Cultivate you. You wont even be that same person that was in that relationship. And you will have a testimony to help someone else with. do it for you and yours. somebody loves you. And you love you too. L.O.Y.B.S

 

Published by Hydroponica

Im a care free, introverted, impulsive, food lovin, munchy havin', optimistic curvy thirty something who loves her kids, and the people in her circle. I love giving advice and passing along what I learn. I want to live life doing what I love, being a secret rebel, while dismissing uncultivated goofballs! Talk to ya soon!

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