I’m tired

Self-care sometimes means wallowing in what it is that you’re dealing with; frustration, acceptance of the situation and Circumstance and just dealing with it. Self-care sometimes means acting out getting all your frustrations out cuz you get tired of holding it inside; sometimes nobody should have to do that just because society says they need to have control of their emotions. I myself am dealing with my own crap and I feel like shit; part of me blames myself, part of me blames the other person; but guess what..I’m going to deal with it I’m going to go through the motions and I’m going to process it and I’m going to be okay I’m okay with processing a living okay. Who says that I have to have a time frame or specific method of dealing with how I feel whatever is going on that will make a person mad to feel as if they’re obligated to put on the facade for somebody else’s facial Aesthetics. Do what you have to do for you to get through because we all heal differently, we all process different.. we all have different perspectives and it’s okay if we backslide because we’re human.

End rant #Loveyobrownself

Let’s Get you straight sista

I See a lot of women out here in competition with each other, (even whether another knows),  with jobs, money, being married, kids, who’s prettier, more’ independent’, etc.

Worrying about what you have or have not accomplished by a certain age, by a certain kid, please certain people.

Well I’m here to get you straight, sista. You don’t have to do a DAMN thing! Because guess what: The only person you hurt, is you ( and maybe your kids depending on what you do and choices you make).

The ONly person you should compete with is YOURSELF! To make YOU better, and let that example flow through to your kids and anyone else who is a witness to what has made your character stronger. Because that’s what you’re doing; BUILDING A BETTER YOU. If you don’t like your weight, then lose it. But lose it because YOU WANT TO not because your 6 keg gut husband wants to have an opinion based on his Instagram following, or your skinny friend makes you feel like shit; when in fact she’s really jealous of you, but because your esteem is so low, you cant even see it.

If you want to cut or grow your hair, relax or go back natural, do it because you want something new or different, not because someone else thinks you look better to THEM. That never goes well.

Change you job, change your parenting, be single, move, new hobby, new parenting style, won’t take certain abuse, don’t want to deal with certain family members, WHATEVER it is, MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER.

JUMP

IM BAAACKKK!! I’ve been in a hiatus because, well, I was depressed. It’s a thing. But I’m feeling better and I’m ready to write again. Hell, I started this as a way of therapy for me; I just opened it because I know I’m not alone. I have several floating notebooks around that I’ve written stuff in, in the past, to help me out; remember stuff, get things out. I’m going to get back to that too. But I’m going to refresh myself with the old writing me, and use those reminders as fuel. Self care is not a perfect process. It’s a lot of levels, breaks, sleeping, rejuvenation, tears, walks, dangerous thoughts, solitude, and so much more; while you get your rhythm and retrain your mind. As long as you move forward, that’s the main thing. The other thing is forgive yourself. I have to do that A LOT.  Even when it comes to my blog. I could have been writing, but I feel I have such perfectionist issues, whereas it causes me to overlook. I’ve never done this kind of thing before. And I want this to be a wonderful informative, encouraging, freeing, liberating blog; however it help, or is used. And I’m going to use it for me.

So here we go. I’m jumping ! I’m here. I’m going to do this when I’m up to it. It’s not going to be perfect. And I’m ok with that. I might jump all over the place, BUT I’M HERE! That’s the important thing for me. I’m going to get back to writing a journal. I’m going to get back to a daily regimen. I don’t worry about who don’t like me, because I have my own lane; and I can only live for ME. Not my kids, parents, friends, spouse, ME. You do the same. You the only one that can fit in your pine box. Live your best life. Rather say I tried it, and maybe it didn’t work or you didn’t like it; rather than I sure wish I took that chance. Just do it. Ask yourself  “why” or “why not”. You better have an answer you can sleep on, I’m just saying. I got my own life I’m trying to hold the reins on lol! But I want us all to win! Even if I don’t like you. Live you best life, boo.

L.Y.B.S

 

Today has been one of my lowest days I’ve had in a long time. I don’t really want to get in to detail at this time; but know we are all human. And have our moments. Some worse than others. Some take on others’ crap along with their own; while the ones needing help can’t see their savior is drowning too. Take time to get your mental health together. Love your families while you have them. Never be too ashamed to reach out. Never feel ashamed about meds, or therapy; Even therapists need therapists.

L.Y.B.S

Keeping it real

I have fallen off writin’; My bad. Mental debilitations, life, bills, situations and STUFFS, get in the way. But I should have used that as fuel to write. I think more than I do sometimes and I MUST get out of that. And I am. I’m in the middle of some life changes, but I’m still here.  I hope everyone still has their heads on, and continues to check themselves in their personal growth.

 

I’ll be posting something soon.