~About being at peace with your role-
“I love this. We as women have to sometimes sever our heart from our minds and even our cookie so we can focus on what is truly important in life and love. It is very true that sometimes you have to lose someone to find yourself.
I am so happy you have found a peace of mind in the situation and learned what you needed about YOU. Ronnie I have known you via Facebook for a few years, probably about five or six by now, so I like to think I kinda know you on some level besides just social media. I am so used to you (and I, lol) kicking in backs so to speak in the various groups and formats we have in common, but I always knew you were intelligent and profound. This entry proves I was right.
I myself went through a self awakening. I had to re-evaluate my life. Here I am 42, divorced, kids all almost grown, but I wasn’t happy. I had jump-offs…not a boyfriend, man or even husband.
I was letting life pass me by, meanwhile I was giving my greatest gifts to men who weren’t worthy.
I prayed and was patient. I took a vow of celibacy, something in my at the time 41 years I had never done, and I didn’t seek the comfort of a man. I realized I didn’t need it. I found me. I still am cool with the men I once gave myself to, but I look at them differently now because I look at me differently now.
I, as are you, are worthy. I have been celibate a little over a year, I have a man I have been getting to know for a year now. He is in prison (and I met him without judgement on my part), I was still and patient, I asked God to send me who he saw fit. He and I met completely on accident…I answered an associate’s phone and he was on it calling from jail. I never inquired about him…six months later I received a letter…he was (at first) solely interested in my writing. Now a year later we are just a little more than friends. But for the first time in my life I can honestly say I took the time to learn a man before I allowed him entrance into my temple.
So, like you I had to take a good long look at my life and find what was best and worked for me, and yes, it had been hard at times, I even shed tears for the meaningless relationship I had to cut loose in the beginning of my journey. Luckily we were able to salvage a friendship in the end. But I think now we both realize that sometimes we force what isn’t meant to be simply because it is all we know.
Good luck my sister. You will find who is meant for you…or he will find you.”